In The Shape of Water, Sally Hawkins plays a mute cleaning woman who falls in love with a magical fish man (Doug Jones) and promptly fulfills our pervy hopes and dreams by — spoilers, I guess? — consummating the relationship. Unfortunately for us pervs, we never get to see his, um, fis…
After delivering the acceptance speech of the night (and inspiring everyone to frantically Google “inclusion rider”), Frances McDormand was tragically separated from her Best Actress Oscar when a man — because of course it was a man — had the nerve to steal it from her at…